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I have been wanting to write this for a long time, but the words didn’t flow as easily and I was concerned about receiving any backlash or negative feedback.
So with my courageous voice and an open heart, I share a small part of my journey of independence and freedom.
As we know, India became Independent from the British Raj, in 1947, it was a momentous victory.
Freedom. At last. But at a price. The partition between India and Pakistan happened too.
Lives, businesses, and economies were rebuilt in the aftermath.
But are people whose ancestry originates from the rich, fertile soil of India, and the Indian sub-continent truly free?
Over the years, I have watched the progress of equality for women in India and the Americas. They have found their voice and are educated and establishing themselves as leaders in their own right.
This is also noticeable in the UK and it’s a joy to witness success and independence for everyone, let alone, women with ancestral roots in India.
Unspoken words.
But what others do not see, are the deeper unspoken undertones of the struggle to move beyond the cultural limitations and be truly free.
What am I talking about?
As females, we are (I’m speaking from my own experience here), born into the negative cultural expectations, conditions, beliefs, patterns, and limitations of a society that suppressed, oppressed, and repressed women, who then became depressed because they were shut down.
Whilst this is changing for many, there are those still plagued with the unresolved inter-generational trauma, abuse, wounding, cultural normal, and suffering that their female lineage passed onto them.
The journey to becoming truly independent and sovereign beings comes at a price for many.
They have to walk away from what does not align with their freedom.
This isn’t about feminism.
This is the path of freedom to be their authentic selves.
To be free
As a first-generation female, I have had to fight for my freedom.
Like many others, I was born into an abusive, dysfunctional family, where the patterns of my parents ran rife through my childhood and body.
My nervous system was hard-wired to suffer, to smallness, and to be a second-class citizen. Males were celebrated and females were broken down. (It’s shocking to see this still happens in the 21st century in Britain.)
It has taken many years of inner work to reconfigure and recalibrate my nervous system to be free.
The trauma that held me so rigid from the beatings, verbal abuse, rejection, and shame is now at only 3%, and by the end of this month, I will breathe in greater freedom to be me.
There are many of us, who cannot conform to what does not align with our inner truth. And we cannot fight against what is true and alive within us to make other people accept or love us.
Self-love
My journey of self-love has been a deep and intimate connection with myself.
I’ve delved into the deepest, darkest shadows and fought with huge challenges of self-worth and self-acceptance. These were not my limitations, these were imprinted on my psyche as a result of the patterns, beliefs, and conditioning my parents unconsciously bestowed upon me. As their parents bestowed upon them.
We are born into abuse and trauma and society continues to highlight what is wrong with you rather than celebrate your uniqueness. Whilst in truth, there is no right and wrong, we simply are who we are, and the more we learn to love and accept ourselves as a work in progress, the easier life becomes and we inspire others to do the same.
Authenticity is to be me, at any given moment. And this offers me great freedom, as I am not looking over my shoulder seeking acceptance or approval from anyone outside of me.
This has taken years to get to, as I was always frightened of my mother's disapproval and the fear of being disowned, rejected, and alone.
Well, truth be told, the day I left my family home at age 22, to embark on a path of my creation, I was disowned.
I wasn’t aware of the reality of this until I took off my rose-coloured spectacles and saw the truth.
I had never felt so alone.
False reality
What I thought was a loving, warm family home, was a bunch of people with narcissistic, abusive, and small-minded patterns playing out. Maybe I was naïve, but I always saw and see the good in people, because everyone goes through phases of stuff, but it was a false reality built on conditions.
The desire to be part of a family, that I once yearned for became a painful and laborious task of conforming to being something and someone I was not.
The disapproving comments and sniggers, constant gossip, and back-stabbing were no longer sustainable in the hope of receiving love from people who were bound by blood or with conditions and agendas.
Walk away
Whilst I had (and still have) immense compassion and love for them, recognising they were stuck in dense patterns and identities, I also had a duty of care and compassion toward myself too.
So I walked away without any justification.
I was no longer willing to subject myself to any more harm. Because the behavior was harmful and still is.
I had been excluded from many family celebrations and the crux came when I found out people were scattering our father's ashes, but my sister and I were not invited.
He was our Father too.
How much more can one person put up with? Maybe you have experienced this too.
The constant rejection and disapproval made me incredibly ill as I blamed myself and my choices. I had periods of hardship, paralysed at times and unable to get out of the cavern of darkness.
But I did.
Freedom is a choice for everyone
I was no longer willing to be vilified and made small by other people's versions, expectations, and assumptions of me. Neither was I willing to let others control me or tell me how to be. I had a choice.
Freedom was being happy being me. Even if I felt like a hot, sticky mess of unresolved stuff.
You know the score, this journey isn’t isolated to me – many women experience it, whether they are from the Indian Sub-continent or not.
And this freedom is now embodied as is love.
I am authentic. I am free and this brings me joy.
I walk in my light, being a role model for my son and others who also seek freedom from the past to be present.
Yes, there are moments of uncertainty however, this passes easily as I recognise that I am part of a glorious and abundant universe that has always supported me.
This is independence.
This is freedom.
There is only love
I choose my path in alignment with my true mother, Mother Earth. I walk a path to empower and inspire others who are here to #bethechange and I am ok with being a work in progress as perfection has too many connotations and limitations.
Now is the time to be visible and stand tall to support others in their fight for freedom.
This isn’t a battle against authorities and the people around us.
This is an inner reconfiguration, recalibration, and alignment of who we truly are. Beings of love.
When we walk the path of love, there are no external enemies, there are no victims, heroes, or martyrs. There is only Love.
And when we embodied love, we say no to what no longer aligns with the truth of our being. It doesn’t mean rejecting others, it means letting go of the untruths and realigning with who and what is true and alive within you.
And this is WHY I do the work that I do, to help others be free to be themselves.
Are you ready to dive deep and reclaim your independence and be your authority? Please feel free to email me directly.
With love and joy
Kamaljit
Kamaljit
Catalyst ~ Mentor
Re-design Your Life
@1amkamaljit
Empowering and inspiring Authenticity, Freedom, and Joy.
