9.9.9 Portal of Release and Harvest - what are you releasing and harvesting?

It's been almost 2 years since I wrote and shared a blog; it's great to be back!

As the season changes in the Northern Hemisphere, I am in awe of the rich abundance during this late Summer/early Autumn harvest.

The Summer has offered much nourishment to the trees, which are still vibrant green, yet some are showing the warm colours of red, yellow, ochre, and orange to mark a new cycle.

The tomatoes and courgettes in my garden are bursting with goodness, waiting to ripen just a little more before they are ready to be picked. The sloes and damsons are being made into gin or wine by those who love a little tipple, and the apples and pears, well, what can I say? I do prefer a crumble to a pie, as I don’t eat much wheat.

The blackberries are on their second and third fruiting, which will make beautiful jams or be added to puddings.

We finally had a few days of rain last week, which has brought life to the grass in my little garden and a soft cushion to my feet when I stand in the morning dew. I had a tiny patch of grass still going strong in my garden, where I stood each morning to receive a deeper connection to Mother Earth. I can now walk all over the grassed area. Bliss.

The Light Codes from the Summer Sun have been pushing out what no longer serves and making room for what does.

What are we willing to let go of? And what are we all harvesting this season?

I ask myself this question when something shows up. I’m not one for avoidance anymore, and neither am I seeking a fight; I’ve never needed to be right.

It’s been quite an interesting year, and like many people, I have been letting go of a great deal. It is, of course, the Year of the Snake, and we’re all shedding old skin whether we like it or not.

One area has been Grief.

I silently grieved for many years for the bright, self-assured, vibrant person I used to be. This has been an inward journey of self–inquiry to honour a deeper relationship with my light. The journey of self-love and self-care isn’t one of material accumulation for me; it’s a deeper connection and trust with the Divine, and an embodiment of my multidimensional self.

When endings come (and as many of you know, I divorced the father of my child last September), there needs to be an unravelling of everything created during the time you were in that story.

For me, there was no going back; there was no alignment.

There was a level of anger, but this anger was toward myself, for betraying the signals in my body and committing to wedlock with someone I loved, but was not aligned with from the beginning.

Upon reflection, I was unwilling to listen to my body's signals all those years ago, which told me not to commit. Instead, I found myself lost in an identity that was determined to prove the doctors and consultants wrong, who had told me that I could not be a biological Mum. It was one heck of an initiation (which I will break down in another blog), but to keep this one flowing, I was unwilling to bring shame to my Father’s name and birth a child outside of wedlock.

Identity.

Wedlock – yes, it was a lock. An identity that was locked in the role of a dutiful wife, living out the ancestral and expected pattern of what a wife should be, silently hoping one day it would get better.

Or identity that kept the peace, save any unnecessary chaos or stress around her child.

Sound familiar? I know many will resonate.

The identity who was a highly sensitive, empathic people pleaser and had lost herself in the many roles she was beholden to, and was too exhausted and drained from giving rather than living.,

The identity that had limited self-worth, due to being the daughter of a narcissistic mother, who beat her until she was 22 years old, to whom she was (and still is) invisible.

Or the identity that experienced sexual abuse as a child, and never spoke to her family about it, or the persons involved.  This resulted in 40 years of self-hatred.

The identity that had loved wholly from the depth of her core, and said yes to the first man who asked her to marry him, as she felt grateful at the time that someone would.

The identity that slowly dimmed her light, to help another reach their potential, and take on excessive burdens, to enable them an easeful life, yet compromised her health and well-being.

The identity that had lost her Father, her only anchor, in a very complicated and limited world, and with him, the unconscious structures that she had created around herself, also began to crumble and fall, including her financial freedom.

The identity that had experienced an early menopause, ill health, together with the complexities of everything that was dying within that.

Quite a lot to talk about, right? Thanks for sticking with me.

Speaking up.

As a private person, it has taken me many, many years to publicly share my vulnerability and how best I navigated the challenges many people still face. I will disseminate these over the coming weeks and months. I have written, but not yet published, a book of my personal journey to inspire and empower others to reclaim their power.

Before we go on, I don’t need a therapist. I’m good, so please don’t try to project or impose your beliefs on someone who has delved deep. Neptune is a great friend of mine, we dive deeper into the waters when we need to. Those experiences do not define who I am; those identities are gone, and I can talk about stuff without a trigger, as I have refined the tools and skills to transmute and transform.

That was quite a lot of letting go over the years, especially the past year.

Returning to harvesting, what am I harvesting this year?

Freedom. Joy. Inner Peace.

Freedom – I am no longer the many identities that experienced traumatic life events. The healing has been a deep inner journey of witnessing, loving, surrendering, and letting go.

Joy is and always has been a natural state of being for me. Even when I was locked in the stories, I had pockets of joy. Baking has always been joyous. As is making a meal and sitting around a table with family and friends who align. Gardening, growing food, and being out in nature nourish me. Music returned to my life 2.5 years ago when I started working behind the bar at a music venue. I then began remembering and honouring more of what brought me joy. Like singing, dancing, theatre, reading, walking, foraging, camping, etc.

Inner Peace – even with the chaos that darkens the world, I can return to my centre and feel peace, as I have learnt how to anchor stillness within.

9.9.9 Portal.

This 9.9.9. The portal offers us an opportunity to let go of what no longer serves us. It’s juicy and is an invitation to step up, speak up, and stand up to Reclaim our Power and Voice, and Be The Change we wish to see.

If we want to create a better world for our future generations, it begins internally.

While many people have tools and methods that can bring them to a place of peace momentarily, the liberation in dropping your baggage (which was probably not yours anyway), transmuting what’s stuck, and navigating your life in alignment with your Divine Essence is priceless. When you do this, you begin to materialise your dreams into form, from the inside.

Living as Light.

In my Universe, this is called Living as Light.  It doesn’t mean that you’re a super positive person and nothing negative comes up, and neither does it mean you’re immune to the catastrophic events around the world. Life still happens.

You align with your personal power and choose how you respond to the external world. You redesign your life on your terms and in alignment with nature's principles.

For some, this is a new way of being; however, it's how our earliest ancestors used to live in harmony with each other and fellow inhabitants of the earth and the cosmos. They had a relationship with nature.

Join me over the coming weeks, as I share the lessons and wisdom learnt from my personal journey; hear from guest bloggers who share their experiences; and begin to feel inspired to Reclaim Your Power and Your Voice. I am in the process of rewriting my website with juicy new offers and accessibility, and of course, my poetry.

We all have a choice, and the power is within us. The time is now.

What are you releasing on this auspicious 9.9.9. day, and what are you harvesting this Autumn? What seeds are you sowing for the next 6 months?

I look forward to our next conversation.

With love and appreciation,

Kamaljit

Catalyst ~ Mentor ~ Poet

www.iamkamaljit.com

@1amkamaljit.com

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